Marriages are made in heaven, but are they? We should really ask this question to someone whose marriage is falling apart. And when does this happen? Clearly when both the partners fail to acknowledge their shortcomings and refuse to strike a compromise. In short, when egos start replacing love. Now some adopt the divorce route soon after; while some still keep hanging there, either because of kids, or a faint hope that things would get sorted out one day. For those of you who really want to save your marriage, I suggest an amazing book by Brad Browning “Mend the Marriage.”
The Ultimate Guide to Save your Marriage
And they lived happily ever after – we’d been hearing this in all our fairy tale books growing up. But for some, the reality of marriage is indeed different. However, the good news is that you can still make amends when things haven’t gone that bad as yet. And for this, Brad Browning, a renowned couples’ counselor has come up with his latest publication.
I came to know about the book from a friend of mine (I happened to see it on her bedside table one day). I casually asked her, “What made you read a book like this.” And, to my surprise, she shared how she felt her married life had been going from bad to worse in the recent past – some deep secrets she’d been longing to share with someone.
But, yet again, to my surprise, there was a gleam on her face as she picked up the book and told me that ever since she started reading it, things have started getting back on track. I was only too happy to hear it from her. That’s when she began sharing her experience with the book and how it helped her get back closer to her loving partner.
Did you say loving, I asked my friend. So where is the problem? I realized after a while that just like most marriages, my friend’s too had been sailing through a rough patch of hectic work schedules, no time for communication or care, and of course, endless complaints about each other’s lifestyles.
This is where Mend the Marriage started helping her, right from talking about things as important as a couple’s financial situation after marriage and how it can become a sore area in the relationship at some point, to other seemingly minor issues. And while reading the book, my friend felt that she could identify with each and every point brought up by Brad Browning as though he’d written them keeping her in mind!
She was all praises for the book and the author himself and I’d like to share here some of the best points about the book that helped her get back on feet.
Why Mend the Marriage works Best for Couples
There are a couple of advantages as shared by my friend, some of the top ones being –
- The book is written in such a way that it not only deals with the issues at hand but also helps prepare the reader for future situations. Brad Browning emphasizes on the fact that marriage is the biggest commitment and therefore, taking the escape route is not the solution. If worked on with some effort, the toughest of marriages can make it until the very end. And for this, couples need to learn the knack of dealing with both present and future issues as and when they arise.
- The book has short engaging lessons that are fairly easy to understand by anyone.
- The book suits your pocket as well; it’s easily affordable by many.
- The book course is designed to be practical to real-life situations and not just a figment of the author’s imagination. He talks about some day-to-day instances that take place between a couple and this is what makes the book engaging and easy to relate with.
- The book talks about two parts of marriage in-depth – marriage mistakes and marriage mending. Brad Browning has done a commendable job dealing with both these sections sensitively.
You can also watch this video by Brad Browning to understand it in a better way:
Now that’s what my friend loved the most about the book. She was given a peek into some of the most common mistakes couples, including herself, make when married. The way it was presented, she could almost imagine herself in those shoes, and she soon started realizing the various pitfalls of her own marriage – some minor, some pretty dangerous.
My friend also realized that sometimes the issue itself is not the problem; the relationship a couple of shares with one another makes it worse. For instance, the book talks about an instance wherein the wife purchases a new carpet and the husband leaves his shoes on it. Now a normal, healthy couple would probably have a simple argument over it, with most likely, the husband removing the shoes and keeping them elsewhere and problem sorted.
But for a couple who’s going through a troubled marriage, the same minor argument can take a scary form, with both enterings into a huge fight. Towards the end of the fight, it’s actually difficult to determine why the fight started in the first place because it tends to have endless subtexts in the argument. These could be a result of built-up anger or loath against the spouse over a number of unresolved issues.
This is what the book aims at taking care of. Browning doesn’t focus only on the common marital issues but also addresses the background to each of these issues as well. This is where he effectively brings in the marriage mending part.
Now that my friend was convinced of the problems her marriage too had been going through while reading the book, the latter started informing her of various choices on how to mend those gaps. And what she loved the most was that the tone of the book did not command her in any way to do the right thing. It just taught her the various ways she could use in saving her marriage while presenting the advantages and drawbacks of each method as well.
When she finished sharing her experience with both these sections of the book, she said something which brought a sly smile on my face – “If you really want to save your marriage, you can make it work.” My friend had changed and now even I was convinced that it was all thanks to Brad Browning and his book. It had instilled a sense of self-confidence in someone who’d lost all hope of making her marriage work.
As for the results too, both my friend and I are extremely happy. She’s happily back with her loving partner (figuratively speaking) and I am just too happy to see a smile back on her face. This is where I can comfortably say without a second thought that the book actually works. And, in the words of my friend, “If you really want to make it work, it’ll surely work.”
And now, it was my turn to read the book. I’d been so impressed hearing good things about it from my friend that I couldn’t just lay my hands off it. Even though my marriage is not going through a rough patch (thankfully), I felt that the book talks to any layperson in a very calm and easy way.
Having read it all, I felt that yes, the book indeed scored all the points as my friend had mentioned while sharing her experience with me. However, just like any other book perhaps, it did leave a few gaps unattended, which would’ve been better addressed. This is my perception of what the book lacks looks like.
Drawbacks of Mend the Marriage
- One very important point I felt Brad Browning lacked dealing within his book is infidelity – a common reality of today’s world.
- I also felt that some of the lessons in the book were too simply dealt with. This includes language, tone, and even the content structure.
- This may not exactly be a disadvantage to some couples out there who’re really looking to mend their marriages, but in my opinion, the book requires the reader to invest a lot of time, dedication, and effort to enjoy the desired results.
Now I say this because I know that people are getting busier by the day and some of them may not really agree with the idea that marriage does indeed need hard work and effort on both sides. The book demands just that in order to obtain the results that one is looking for in their respective marriage.
Nonetheless, these are just my personal opinions after reading the book. They may vary for someone else who may have their own experiences of reading Mend the Marriage. Also, I’d like to note here that the results for each person may also vary, depending on how they perceive Brad Browning’s course teachings, how much of it are they willing to apply in daily life, as also the amount of time and effort they’re willing to invest into their relationship to make it work.
Brad Browning has done a good job with the book. Couple counseling sessions and therapies have always been in place but the book takes a fresh approach to resolving minor to major conflicts in most marriages. A good read and might be helpful to those looking for some solutions to fix their everyday problems. A cost-effective method to try and save your marriage from breaking up while there’s still time.